Puns For Educated Minds





  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was 

Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.


  1. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, 

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 


  1. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still. 


  1. No matter how much you push the envelope,

it’ll still be stationery. 


  1. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would 

result in Linoleum Blownapart. 


  1. Two silk worms had a race.

They ended up in a tie. 


  1. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me. 


  1.  A backward poet writes inverse. 


  1. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. 

In feudalism it’s your count that votes. 


  1. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine. 


  1.  Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.” 


  1. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain 

during a root-canal?  His goal: transcend dental medication. 



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