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When Insults Had Class




A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

“Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”

“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “Whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”


“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

— Winston Churchill


“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

— Clarence Darrow


“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

— Oscar Wilde


“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;

bring a friend, if you have one.”

— George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”

— Stephen Bishop


“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

— Irvin S. Cobb


“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”

— Samuel Johnson


“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”

— Charles, Count Talleyrand


“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

— Mark Twain


“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

— Mae West


“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

— Oscar Wilde 


“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.”

— Groucho Marx



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